Limbo

There's only so many parties, terrible first dates, and fabulous nights of dancing a  girl can deal with....right? That's coming from the perspective of a divorcee...or am I just considered single? On the other hand, there's only so many diapers, cleaning, and grumpy husbands a girl can deal with....this being the married girls perspective. Somewhere in the middle is what I like to call limbo. This is where I spent the majority of 2010. Glitzy events, salsa dancing in stilettos, an over-booked calendar that starts on Wednesday (sometimes Tuesday) and ends on Sunday. From shopping to hair appointments to happy hour, I've been very busy! Every other week that is. This is where my limbo comes in. The following week, I have the kids. There's music lessons, homework, and band practice among other things. Teenagers require a special kind of attention, and just when you think "Wow, they're awesome, I must be doing a great job", they throw you something disastrous and unexpected. Eventually, they redeem themselves, and my sanity, with "Mom, I love you more than I love pizza". 

Somehow, I am managing to live a single girl's life and a much gentler version of a married girl's life (without the husband of course). This radical change of climate every other week is what I call limbo. Every chance she gets, my mom asks: "Glori, you want to be alone forever?". She thinks if  you get stuck in limbo, you may never leave. I have to say it is not easy to give up your newly found  freedom after years of lock down mode. My friend Monica thinks I have it all figured  out, mommy one weekend, flowing dresses and hoops the next. "Why would you want to give that up, enjoy yourself, have fun!" is what she tells me every chance she gets.

At least I am not in denial, isn't that the first step towards making progress? Somewhere surrounding the limbo of celebrations and mommy bus duty, there has to be a middle ground, a balance, room for someone else. Fear of getting caught in either side has made it easier for me to stay in limbo.  Finding symmetry, without losing yourself to either side is not an easy task.